It's Not Always Sunshine & Roses...

If you know me at all, you know that I could not be more proud to be the mother of my amazing triplet boys.  This is certainly not the life I ever imagined for myself, but my heart overfills on a daily basis.

With that being said, it's not always sunshine and roses.  There are many challenges that come with having triplets.  In the beginning, the biggest challenge was keeping up with all the feedings, pumping sessions, diaper changes, bottles, and laundry.  It literally consumed my every waking moment (which was a lot of moments since I never slept more than an hour and a half in a row those first few months). The hardest part about this time was that I felt like I didn't get to ever just enjoy my babies like a parent of a singleton could.  As soon as I finished giving a bottle, I still had two more to give and then I would have to pump.  There wasn't any time to just sit in the rocking chair in the dark and snuggle my sweet little one.  While having triplets gives me a number of experiences that most people don't ever get to have, there are definitely things I feel like I've missed out on by having three babies.

Today was one of those days when I just wished things could be different.  I don't ever wish that I had just one baby.  My life would not be complete without all three of these boys.  But I do wish I had more of me to go around.

Since we dropped our morning nap about a month ago, I try to get out of the house if possible in the mornings.  It just helps with everyone getting along and whatnot.  Since the weather (for the most part) has still been pretty nice, we have been going on lots of walks.  And since we recently all learned to walked, I thought the park would be a fun place to go.  We have four playgrounds within walking distance of our house.  The problem here is that I have three toddlers. And my number one priority with these boys is to keep them safe.  It's my job.  But I got to tell you, it's a really hard job when they're mobile.  We usually get around in our Radio Flyer Triple Play Wagon.  I love this wagon and the boys do too.  Once we get where we need to be (the park in this instance), I unbuckle each of them and let them out.  Fortunately we don't have "runners" (yet) and my boys are big Mama's Boys so they like to be in close proximity to me.  The problem I run into is that they want (more than anything) to just climb up on the playground.  A person with one child can do this and just follow her child around to make sure he doesn't fall.  This doesn't really work when you have three. There just isn't a way to do it safely when you're by yourself.  So I usually try to keep them on level ground and just let them run around.  Or I'll let them play at the bottom of the slide.  They can't yet climb up it and if there aren't other kids around that want to go down, it's relatively safe.

Today though, there was no distracting Ollie.  He wanted SO BAD just to crawl up on that playground equipment.  At one point, I let him and just followed him up since the other two boys were "distracted" on the ground at that point.  But soon they saw how much fun he was having and they wanted in on it too.  I got Ollie down just as the other two were coming up.  So then I played a nice exhausting game of pulling one kid off the steps and putting him down only to have two more on their way up when I got done.  Fortunately, I had a mom there who offered to help me.  After I grabbed Ollie, she blocked off the playground, so the other two couldn't go up.  Of course, at this point all three boys are pissed.  So I put them in the wagon (kicking and screaming) and we quickly left.  I then proceeded to cry on my walk home.  It wasn't so much that I was embarrassed (though I was).  It was more the fact that reality was setting in for me.  When they were babies, there were moments I missed out on.  Now that they're getting older, there are things they are going to miss out on.  And I kind of hate that.  I hate that they can't all just play (safely) on the playground like a singleton their age.

I'm sure this isn't the last time I'm going to feel this way.  The day will come when I have to explain to my children why they're the only ones in their class who have never been to Disney World or why they don't get invited on as many sleepovers as their friends (not a lot of people want to have THREE crazy boys over to their house).  And at the end of the day, I know that these things that my boys will miss out on, are nothing compared to the special bond they will have for their entire lives.  Someone will always have their back no matter what.  And that's pretty cool.

But it doesn't change the fact that days like today still suck.