Letter to my boys...for down the road

Dear Ollie, Nolan, and Lucas,

You are guys are incredible.  We are in a very strange world right now.  A lot of that you "get" and understand.  But there is so much that you are oblivious to right now.  And for that, I'm grateful.

You guys get that the Coronavirus has put a damper on a lot of our plans this spring.  We didn't get to go anywhere over Spring Break.  We missed several of our friends' birthday parties.  Our school year had to come to an abrupt halt and you never got a chance to say goodbye to your teachers or your friends.  You didn't ever get to perform the musical you worked so hard on.  There will be no first grade field trip or field day.  You missed your cub scout camp out.  You never got to start your soccer season.  We didn't get to go to the hockey game we had planned, nor will we get to watch the Royals play this season.  You haven't been able to see or play with your friends.  And it's sucked.

You've definitely been impacted by this pandemic.  But there are a lot of ways our world has changed recently that you three are probably completely unaware of.  You probably have no idea how hard it's been trying to get groceries.  The online shopping where you have to wait 3-4 days with a full cart just to get a pick up slot.  Then having to wait another week to actually be able to pick up.  You guys have no idea how hard it's been to find toilet paper, Clorox wipes, flour, fresh produce and oddly enough...puzzles and trampolines.

You three are luckily oblivious to the fact that worldwide, over 150,000 people have died from this disease.  Or that just this past Tuesday over 6,000 people died in the US alone...in ONE day!  This disease is awful.  People are walking around in masks.  We have been sheltering in place at home now for over a month....leaving only to go on family walks.  Currently our governor has extended our stay at home order into May but I would be surprised if it doesn't go longer than that.

My prediction is that pools will not open this summer.  And that our lives in a couple months very well may look similar to they way they do right now.  It is uncertain what school will look like next year.  Will we start in August like we're supposed to?  Will they stagger the school day?  It's hard to say. 

One thing I am certain of is that this is a very uncertain time.  So many unknowns.  There are so many people whose lives have been turned upside down by this virus.  People who have lost their income.  People who are all alone during this.  And of course, people who are sick and dying.  We have been fortunate that Mommy has been able to continue to get paid while also being able to stay home with you guys.  I've been able to homeschool you everyday...and not to toot my own horn, but who better to homeschool you than a former first grade teacher?  Daddy has been able to continue to work during this to support our family.  We really are so fortunate.

And I would be lying if I didn't say that I've enjoyed this time together with you boys...the breakfast read alouds, the board games, the movie nights, the family dinners, the bike rides.  From sun up to sun down, I truly don't ever get a break from you guys.  And sometimes you guys drive me absolutely crazy.  But in general, you boys have handled this whole situation beautifully.  You've created.  You learned.  You've played.  I'm so grateful that out of all the kids I could be stuck home with, that I'm stuck with you.  And I'm so very happy that you guys have each other during this time.  I hope you're young enough that when you look back on this time, you don't remember how scary this all is. 

I hope instead that you remember the chalk drawings and the daily walks/bike rides and the epic games of hide and seek.  I hope you remember trying meat loaf for the first time and absolutely loving it (well, maybe not you, Ollie).  I hope you remember reading and watching Roald Dahl's Matilda.  And watching all the Star Wars movies.  Mostly, I hope you look back and fondly remember our time together as a family. 

I love you guys so much!

Love,
Your Mommy

Spring Break 2019

We didn't go anywhere for Spring Break this year.  We usually do something small.  Last year, we went to Colorado.  The year before...St. Louis.  This year, we didn't leave town but I took advantage of the 10 days off with my boys and tried to get out of the house and do some fun things.  We went to Paradise Park in Lee's Summit, Sky Zone, the Prairie Fire Museum, Crown Center, Kaleidoscope, and celebrated St. Patrick's Day at the parade in Brookside.  The best part?  We spent zero dollars on all our activities!  My parents bought us a PogoPass for Christmas this year and it gets us into so many places for free!  Best gift ever!

Tonight the boys asked if they could email their teachers telling them what they did over their Spring Break.  I let them, of course...and it was adorable.  I loved seeing their inventive spelling and just how far they've come with their writing.  Not bad for a bunch of 5-year-olds!  And apparently Ollie is now on a first-name basis with his teacher.

I had several projects I had intended on getting done but wasn't quite as productive as I had hoped.  I did however read THREE books during my time off and got in 11 workouts!  AND I got my hair done.  It was nice to allow myself some "me time".

All in all, it was a very enjoyable time off with my kiddos and made me excited for this summer!

Ollie’s First ER Visit

We should know by now that “a less than 1% chance” doesn’t mean anything when you’re an Asher. We’re all about defying the odds. There was a less than 1% chance that we would have triplets. A less than 1% chance of Nolan and Lucas being mono-mono identicals. So when we heard of the less than 1% chance of severe adverse side effects from Tamiflu, we probably should have paid a little more attention.

Today Ollie gave us quite the scare when he had an episode of being totally confused and incoherent. He stared at me blankly and kept reaching out and touching my face. He couldn’t respond to basic questions I asked him, including his name. He lost bladder control. He was completely out of it for about two minutes. It was terrifying.

I was worried it might be a febrile seizure so I took him to the ER at Children’s Mercy to be checked out. 

Doctor did a neurological exam. He said he looks good. Most likely a severe reaction to the tamiflu...which only happens in less than 1% of cases. The doctor we saw said it’s rare and he had actually never seen anyone have a reaction like this. He said it may or may not have been a seizure...really no way to tell. We just have to keep a close eye on him for the next 24 hours.

Kindergarten is Hard

Yesterday's "First Day of Kindergarten" experience was nearly picture perfect.  Mommy was understandably an emotional wreck, but the boys were so excited and showed absolutely no anxiety about the whole thing.  Dropping them off in their classrooms went great!  It was only a half day, but when I picked them up, they all three were very eager to tell me all about their day.

Today was their first full day and was not so perfect.  As they piled into the car during the chaos of "The Car Line", Nolan and Lucas instantly started going a mile a minute about all the new friends they had made and how much fun they had.  I realized I hadn't yet heard from Ollie.  I asked him how his day was and he immediately started sobbing and said "Mommy, I had a very bad day at Arbor Creek."

You guys...my heart shattered into a million pieces.  As a parent, you just want everything to be perfect for your child.  You don't want them to ever feel pain or sadness or loneliness.

He went on to tell me that he didn't have any friends and that he felt lonely all day.  As soon as we got home, I got everyone in the house and just grabbed him and gave him the biggest bear hug I could.  He told me he just wanted to snuggle so I ignored my disaster of a house, decided dinner could be a little later tonight, and I laid on the couch and just snuggled and cried with him.  We talked about things he could do to make friends....specific things he could say to other kids.  He's always been a bit of a loner and I genuinely have always thought that he just preferred to play by himself.  Today was the first time I ever heard him say he felt lonely though. 

I'm hoping it was just a long day.  I know he's probably exhausted and all the big five year old feelings were probably just too much at the end of the day.  We talked a lot tonight.  And I chatted with his brothers and told them to check on him on the playground.  I'm just praying tomorrow is better.  It needs to be.  I can't bear the thought of him being sad and lonely all day...

First Day of Kindergarten

We survived our first day of kindergarten!  They were so excited! They walked in with their heads held high...full of confidence.  I was so proud!  The only tears were Mommy’s. Nolan asked me why I kept giving him so many kisses...and Ollie told me after getting settled in...”Mommy...you can go now.” Sigh. They look so big! 

                                 

                                             

 

                                     

Next stop...Kindergarten

If you know me at all, you know the k-word has been one I prefer people not mention around me these days. Kindergarten. Sigh. It's been the source of a lot of mama tears these past couple months. It just seems unreal that my once tiny little preemies are now big brave five-year-olds.  And while I'm so proud of the amazing little people they're becoming, my mama heart is really struggling with all this change.  I mean, wasn't it just yesterday that I sat in that sterile NICU room at the end of Cactus Circle and cried and prayed for my babies to come home?  Didn't they JUST take their first steps?  How is it that we've now been out of diapers for YEARS?

It seems I've blinked and now they're off to big-kid school...the kind of school where they're there all day.  They'll sit at a desk and be expected to raise their hand.  They'll have to carry a lunch tray across the cafeteria.  They will spend more time with their teachers than they will with their mommy.  Ouch on that last one.  What a huge blessing it has been to be home with them these past five years.  The days may have been long but those years were so short.  I'm glad I got to be there to experience it all.  But now the time has also come for Mommy to go back to work full-time.  So much change.

And it's caused me to lose sleep at night.  This kindergarten anxiety hasn't seemed to faze my sweet boys, but man...it's gotten to me.

Elementary school opens so many doors to what type of person they will become.  Will they join in laughing when a bully teases another kid?  Or will they be that child who seeks out the lonely kid at recess and asks them to play?  Or will they be the one being bullied?  Will they stay true to themselves and remember that above all, kindness matters most?

Will their teacher love and appreciate all their little quirks?  How Ollie doesn't really care to play with kids his age and would much rather spend time have scintillating conversations with the teachers?  How Nolan tells the world's longest stories?  Will she underestimate Lucas’ capabilities because he’s so small?

Will their days be mostly filled with joy?  Or will they struggle with loneliness and anxiety?  Will somebody give them a hug when they cry?  Will somebody give ME a hug when I cry???

It's just all so much.  They're so excited and I'm so grateful for that.  Deep down in my heart, I know they'll be fine.  They're such amazing little boys and I'm so proud of everything they've done in these short five years.  I feel like this is the beginning of so many things for them.  I wish them well.  I hope they'll always remember those 3 simple rules from preschool...be safe, be kind, and be helpful.

Meanwhile, Mommy will be over here crying into her coffee.  People argue that sending their firstborn off to kindergarten is the hardest.  Others say it's toughest to send your last.  Me...I'm doing both all in the same day.  In just three days, I will be sending my oldest, my youngest, and my middlest off to kindergarten.  And oh, there will be tears.  Lots of them.  Let's just hope I can hold them all back until I get to the parking lot...

The Lion King

Back in December I heard that The Lion King was coming to Kansas City and I knew I had to go see it again.  I saw this show on Broadway 14 years ago and it moved me in a way I never expected.  For those of you who have had the pleasure of seeing it, you know exactly what I'm talking about...that feeling during that opening scene of Circle of Life.  It's truly theater at its best.

Anyway, when I first saw they'd be touring in Kansas City, I pulled up that opening scene on YouTube to show the boys.  Ollie and Lucas didn't really care much, but Nolan got a look in his eyes that just melted my heart.  He looked at me with big eyes and said "Mommy, I don't need Christmas presents.  I just want to see Lion King!"  Oh, sweet boy!  You are indeed your mother's child!  I decided right then that I wanted to take him.  The problem with this, is (especially when you have triplets) how to do you take one kid out for something special like this without being completely and totally unfair?  So we also decided around that time (after asking the boys) to take Ollie and Lucas to Monster Jam with Daddy (which they did back in January).  When I gave Nolan the option of Monster Jam or Lion King, he hands down said he would rather see The Lion King.

So this has been something we've been looking forward to for over 6 months.  And today the day finally came.  After a frantic mommy moment at home before leaving when I couldn't seem to locate the tickets in my email to print off, we were finally ready!  Ollie and Lucas spent the afternoon at work with Daddy, which I think was fun for them.  Nolan and I got all dressed up and headed downtown.  We took some pictures and then went and found our seats...fairly early.  We looked through the Play Bill and talked about the show.  It was honestly just really nice being there just the two of us.

Then the lights dimmed and the show began.  It was just as good this time around as I remember it being in New York.  But what I enjoyed watching even more than the phenomenal costumes, set, and music...was Nolan's face throughout the show.  He had the most serious face all throughout The Circle of Life then as soon as it ended and the crowd broke out in applause, he looked over at me with the biggest eyes and his mouth wide open and I knew in that very moment that he was feeling exactly what I was.  He continued to look at me throughout the show...sort of in disbelief.  As if he really couldn't believe it was that good.

When intermission hit, we took at potty break and sat and had a snack out in the lobby for a bit before going back in.  During that time, I asked him how he was liking the show.  He said it was "So cool!"  I leaned over to him and said, "You want to hear something kind of silly?  There were a couple parts where Mommy got tears in her eyes because it was SO GOOD!"  He looked at me and said, "Oh, that's okay, Mommy...I got a few tears in my eyes too."

You guys...he's totally my mini-me.  Like truly, I am so glad he loves the theater.  He did awesome during the show and I think truly loved it.  This is one of those days that I will forever cherish. I 'm so glad we got the opportunity to go.  And I'm so glad he loved it!