Yesterday's "First Day of Kindergarten" experience was nearly picture perfect. Mommy was understandably an emotional wreck, but the boys were so excited and showed absolutely no anxiety about the whole thing. Dropping them off in their classrooms went great! It was only a half day, but when I picked them up, they all three were very eager to tell me all about their day.
Today was their first full day and was not so perfect. As they piled into the car during the chaos of "The Car Line", Nolan and Lucas instantly started going a mile a minute about all the new friends they had made and how much fun they had. I realized I hadn't yet heard from Ollie. I asked him how his day was and he immediately started sobbing and said "Mommy, I had a very bad day at Arbor Creek."
You guys...my heart shattered into a million pieces. As a parent, you just want everything to be perfect for your child. You don't want them to ever feel pain or sadness or loneliness.
He went on to tell me that he didn't have any friends and that he felt lonely all day. As soon as we got home, I got everyone in the house and just grabbed him and gave him the biggest bear hug I could. He told me he just wanted to snuggle so I ignored my disaster of a house, decided dinner could be a little later tonight, and I laid on the couch and just snuggled and cried with him. We talked about things he could do to make friends....specific things he could say to other kids. He's always been a bit of a loner and I genuinely have always thought that he just preferred to play by himself. Today was the first time I ever heard him say he felt lonely though.
I'm hoping it was just a long day. I know he's probably exhausted and all the big five year old feelings were probably just too much at the end of the day. We talked a lot tonight. And I chatted with his brothers and told them to check on him on the playground. I'm just praying tomorrow is better. It needs to be. I can't bear the thought of him being sad and lonely all day...
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