Yesterday's "First Day of Kindergarten" experience was nearly picture perfect. Mommy was understandably an emotional wreck, but the boys were so excited and showed absolutely no anxiety about the whole thing. Dropping them off in their classrooms went great! It was only a half day, but when I picked them up, they all three were very eager to tell me all about their day.
Today was their first full day and was not so perfect. As they piled into the car during the chaos of "The Car Line", Nolan and Lucas instantly started going a mile a minute about all the new friends they had made and how much fun they had. I realized I hadn't yet heard from Ollie. I asked him how his day was and he immediately started sobbing and said "Mommy, I had a very bad day at Arbor Creek."
You guys...my heart shattered into a million pieces. As a parent, you just want everything to be perfect for your child. You don't want them to ever feel pain or sadness or loneliness.
He went on to tell me that he didn't have any friends and that he felt lonely all day. As soon as we got home, I got everyone in the house and just grabbed him and gave him the biggest bear hug I could. He told me he just wanted to snuggle so I ignored my disaster of a house, decided dinner could be a little later tonight, and I laid on the couch and just snuggled and cried with him. We talked about things he could do to make friends....specific things he could say to other kids. He's always been a bit of a loner and I genuinely have always thought that he just preferred to play by himself. Today was the first time I ever heard him say he felt lonely though.
I'm hoping it was just a long day. I know he's probably exhausted and all the big five year old feelings were probably just too much at the end of the day. We talked a lot tonight. And I chatted with his brothers and told them to check on him on the playground. I'm just praying tomorrow is better. It needs to be. I can't bear the thought of him being sad and lonely all day...
Thursday, August 16, 2018
First Day of Kindergarten
We survived our first day of kindergarten! They were so excited! They walked in with their heads held high...full of confidence. I was so proud! The only tears were Mommy’s. Nolan asked me why I kept giving him so many kisses...and Ollie told me after getting settled in...”Mommy...you can go now.” Sigh. They look so big!
Sunday, August 12, 2018
Next stop...Kindergarten
If you know me at all, you know the k-word has been one I prefer people not mention around me these days. Kindergarten. Sigh. It's been the source of a lot of mama tears these past couple months. It just seems unreal that my once tiny little preemies are now big brave five-year-olds. And while I'm so proud of the amazing little people they're becoming, my mama heart is really struggling with all this change. I mean, wasn't it just yesterday that I sat in that sterile NICU room at the end of Cactus Circle and cried and prayed for my babies to come home? Didn't they JUST take their first steps? How is it that we've now been out of diapers for YEARS?
It seems I've blinked and now they're off to big-kid school...the kind of school where they're there all day. They'll sit at a desk and be expected to raise their hand. They'll have to carry a lunch tray across the cafeteria. They will spend more time with their teachers than they will with their mommy. Ouch on that last one. What a huge blessing it has been to be home with them these past five years. The days may have been long but those years were so short. I'm glad I got to be there to experience it all. But now the time has also come for Mommy to go back to work full-time. So much change.
And it's caused me to lose sleep at night. This kindergarten anxiety hasn't seemed to faze my sweet boys, but man...it's gotten to me.
Elementary school opens so many doors to what type of person they will become. Will they join in laughing when a bully teases another kid? Or will they be that child who seeks out the lonely kid at recess and asks them to play? Or will they be the one being bullied? Will they stay true to themselves and remember that above all, kindness matters most?
Will their teacher love and appreciate all their little quirks? How Ollie doesn't really care to play with kids his age and would much rather spend time have scintillating conversations with the teachers? How Nolan tells the world's longest stories? Will she underestimate Lucas’ capabilities because he’s so small?
Will their days be mostly filled with joy? Or will they struggle with loneliness and anxiety? Will somebody give them a hug when they cry? Will somebody give ME a hug when I cry???
It's just all so much. They're so excited and I'm so grateful for that. Deep down in my heart, I know they'll be fine. They're such amazing little boys and I'm so proud of everything they've done in these short five years. I feel like this is the beginning of so many things for them. I wish them well. I hope they'll always remember those 3 simple rules from preschool...be safe, be kind, and be helpful.
Meanwhile, Mommy will be over here crying into her coffee. People argue that sending their firstborn off to kindergarten is the hardest. Others say it's toughest to send your last. Me...I'm doing both all in the same day. In just three days, I will be sending my oldest, my youngest, and my middlest off to kindergarten. And oh, there will be tears. Lots of them. Let's just hope I can hold them all back until I get to the parking lot...
It seems I've blinked and now they're off to big-kid school...the kind of school where they're there all day. They'll sit at a desk and be expected to raise their hand. They'll have to carry a lunch tray across the cafeteria. They will spend more time with their teachers than they will with their mommy. Ouch on that last one. What a huge blessing it has been to be home with them these past five years. The days may have been long but those years were so short. I'm glad I got to be there to experience it all. But now the time has also come for Mommy to go back to work full-time. So much change.
And it's caused me to lose sleep at night. This kindergarten anxiety hasn't seemed to faze my sweet boys, but man...it's gotten to me.
Elementary school opens so many doors to what type of person they will become. Will they join in laughing when a bully teases another kid? Or will they be that child who seeks out the lonely kid at recess and asks them to play? Or will they be the one being bullied? Will they stay true to themselves and remember that above all, kindness matters most?
Will their teacher love and appreciate all their little quirks? How Ollie doesn't really care to play with kids his age and would much rather spend time have scintillating conversations with the teachers? How Nolan tells the world's longest stories? Will she underestimate Lucas’ capabilities because he’s so small?
Will their days be mostly filled with joy? Or will they struggle with loneliness and anxiety? Will somebody give them a hug when they cry? Will somebody give ME a hug when I cry???
It's just all so much. They're so excited and I'm so grateful for that. Deep down in my heart, I know they'll be fine. They're such amazing little boys and I'm so proud of everything they've done in these short five years. I feel like this is the beginning of so many things for them. I wish them well. I hope they'll always remember those 3 simple rules from preschool...be safe, be kind, and be helpful.
Meanwhile, Mommy will be over here crying into her coffee. People argue that sending their firstborn off to kindergarten is the hardest. Others say it's toughest to send your last. Me...I'm doing both all in the same day. In just three days, I will be sending my oldest, my youngest, and my middlest off to kindergarten. And oh, there will be tears. Lots of them. Let's just hope I can hold them all back until I get to the parking lot...
Thursday, May 24, 2018
The Lion King
Back in December I heard that The Lion King was coming to Kansas City and I knew I had to go see it again. I saw this show on Broadway 14 years ago and it moved me in a way I never expected. For those of you who have had the pleasure of seeing it, you know exactly what I'm talking about...that feeling during that opening scene of Circle of Life. It's truly theater at its best.
Anyway, when I first saw they'd be touring in Kansas City, I pulled up that opening scene on YouTube to show the boys. Ollie and Lucas didn't really care much, but Nolan got a look in his eyes that just melted my heart. He looked at me with big eyes and said "Mommy, I don't need Christmas presents. I just want to see Lion King!" Oh, sweet boy! You are indeed your mother's child! I decided right then that I wanted to take him. The problem with this, is (especially when you have triplets) how to do you take one kid out for something special like this without being completely and totally unfair? So we also decided around that time (after asking the boys) to take Ollie and Lucas to Monster Jam with Daddy (which they did back in January). When I gave Nolan the option of Monster Jam or Lion King, he hands down said he would rather see The Lion King.
So this has been something we've been looking forward to for over 6 months. And today the day finally came. After a frantic mommy moment at home before leaving when I couldn't seem to locate the tickets in my email to print off, we were finally ready! Ollie and Lucas spent the afternoon at work with Daddy, which I think was fun for them. Nolan and I got all dressed up and headed downtown. We took some pictures and then went and found our seats...fairly early. We looked through the Play Bill and talked about the show. It was honestly just really nice being there just the two of us.
Then the lights dimmed and the show began. It was just as good this time around as I remember it being in New York. But what I enjoyed watching even more than the phenomenal costumes, set, and music...was Nolan's face throughout the show. He had the most serious face all throughout The Circle of Life then as soon as it ended and the crowd broke out in applause, he looked over at me with the biggest eyes and his mouth wide open and I knew in that very moment that he was feeling exactly what I was. He continued to look at me throughout the show...sort of in disbelief. As if he really couldn't believe it was that good.
When intermission hit, we took at potty break and sat and had a snack out in the lobby for a bit before going back in. During that time, I asked him how he was liking the show. He said it was "So cool!" I leaned over to him and said, "You want to hear something kind of silly? There were a couple parts where Mommy got tears in her eyes because it was SO GOOD!" He looked at me and said, "Oh, that's okay, Mommy...I got a few tears in my eyes too."
You guys...he's totally my mini-me. Like truly, I am so glad he loves the theater. He did awesome during the show and I think truly loved it. This is one of those days that I will forever cherish. I 'm so glad we got the opportunity to go. And I'm so glad he loved it!
Anyway, when I first saw they'd be touring in Kansas City, I pulled up that opening scene on YouTube to show the boys. Ollie and Lucas didn't really care much, but Nolan got a look in his eyes that just melted my heart. He looked at me with big eyes and said "Mommy, I don't need Christmas presents. I just want to see Lion King!" Oh, sweet boy! You are indeed your mother's child! I decided right then that I wanted to take him. The problem with this, is (especially when you have triplets) how to do you take one kid out for something special like this without being completely and totally unfair? So we also decided around that time (after asking the boys) to take Ollie and Lucas to Monster Jam with Daddy (which they did back in January). When I gave Nolan the option of Monster Jam or Lion King, he hands down said he would rather see The Lion King.
So this has been something we've been looking forward to for over 6 months. And today the day finally came. After a frantic mommy moment at home before leaving when I couldn't seem to locate the tickets in my email to print off, we were finally ready! Ollie and Lucas spent the afternoon at work with Daddy, which I think was fun for them. Nolan and I got all dressed up and headed downtown. We took some pictures and then went and found our seats...fairly early. We looked through the Play Bill and talked about the show. It was honestly just really nice being there just the two of us.
Then the lights dimmed and the show began. It was just as good this time around as I remember it being in New York. But what I enjoyed watching even more than the phenomenal costumes, set, and music...was Nolan's face throughout the show. He had the most serious face all throughout The Circle of Life then as soon as it ended and the crowd broke out in applause, he looked over at me with the biggest eyes and his mouth wide open and I knew in that very moment that he was feeling exactly what I was. He continued to look at me throughout the show...sort of in disbelief. As if he really couldn't believe it was that good.
When intermission hit, we took at potty break and sat and had a snack out in the lobby for a bit before going back in. During that time, I asked him how he was liking the show. He said it was "So cool!" I leaned over to him and said, "You want to hear something kind of silly? There were a couple parts where Mommy got tears in her eyes because it was SO GOOD!" He looked at me and said, "Oh, that's okay, Mommy...I got a few tears in my eyes too."
You guys...he's totally my mini-me. Like truly, I am so glad he loves the theater. He did awesome during the show and I think truly loved it. This is one of those days that I will forever cherish. I 'm so glad we got the opportunity to go. And I'm so glad he loved it!
Saturday, April 28, 2018
To all our March for Babies supporters...
Take a seat. Get comfortable. We’ll be here a while.
Our journey has included lots of tears. So. Many. Tears.
Infertility tears...tears from the sight of yet another negative pregnancy test. Tears fought back while faking a smile at a baby shower. Tears of pain brought on by yet another IVF injection.
Pregnancy tears...not just because of hormones but due to the constant reminder that I very likely might not end up with three babies in my arms. So many fear-filled tears.
NICU tears. Tears brought on by the longing to hold your baby when you can’t. Tears brought on by infections and apnea episodes and bradycardia spells. And so many tears of guilt.
Homecoming tears. Tears of joy when the long-awaited day finally came to bring each of our sweet boys home. Tears triggered by the song “Home” coming on the radio as you’re sitting in the backseat with your sweet boy about to pull into your driveway with him for the first time.
Tears of sleep deprivation. Hooked-up-to-a-pump-in-the-middle-of-the-night tears. 6-month vaccination tears. The tears that came with the first birthday and every birthday since. The tears that recently seem to break through anytime someone says the word “kindergarten”.
It’s been quite the journey and we are so grateful, so blessed to have shared it with all of you. Thank you for your support. For the visits in the hospital during a long time of bed rest. Thank you for helping to make sure each of these boys got plenty of snuggles as babies. Thank you for the meals, diapers, gift cards, the Starbucks drinks left on doorsteps. Thank you for checking in when you knew things were kind of rough.
And thank you so much for supporting this great cause. For loving and caring about our babies enough to want to make a difference for so many others out there. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We love you all!
Thursday, January 25, 2018
Kindergarten Readiness
This was written by a mama in my 2013 Mothers of Triplets Facebook group. It addresses the issue of whether or not you should wait to send your child(ren) to kindergarten when they have summer birthdays and are barely five. As a former primary teacher, I saw so many benefits to waiting. And I always thought that’d be the route we’d go with our boys, especially with the issues we had early on with their speech/language, behavior, and emotional/social delays.
But now, after almost 2 years of preschool, they have grown so much! And they ROCK at school. They listen and follow directions, they interact and play with their classmates appropriately. Academically, they’re brilliant. Each of them has been reading to varying degrees for over a year now. They know their numbers. They can write. They know their address and phone number. Hell, they can name all the planets in our solar system (even the dwarf planets).
I recently picked up a brochure at their school...”Is your child ready for kindergarten?” They met all the criteria in the brochure. Their teachers continually remind me that they’re ready and that they’ll thrive in kindergarten.
Yet, I continue to second guess myself. I have several other friends with children who have summer birthdays and I feel like they’re all waiting. We seem to be in the minority by sending them. Are we making the right decision? Is there something I’m not thinking about here that I should?
I don’t know why this is eating at me so much. Part of me thinks I’m just not ready to send my babies off to school all day. But then another part of me just keeps questioning...are we going to regret sending them so early?
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